Thursday, February 12, 2015

Rants In My Pants


NOW AVAILABLE!

AT AMAZON.COM



"Rants In My Pants: Outrage in the new America". Something different. From the author of 20 inspirational books.

If you love America, you will love "Rants In My Pants: Outrage in the new America"! The author is an old American living in a new America. And he is outraged. Outraged at the stupidity and hypocrisy of government, institutions, and people in power. In "Rants In My Pants: Outrage in the new America", he takes them to task, in a series of humorous rants. A must-read book for anyone who loves America!

"Very entertaining! Fun and funny!"


"Rants in My Pants: Outrage in the new America". Watch for it on amazon.com

Here's an excerpt:

Introduction

Welcome to the new America. Welcome to my rants, musings, opinions, and outrage ...

In this book I offend lots of people and lots of things, especially hypocritical and stupid people and the hypocritical stupid powers that be. In this book, I rant about government, corporations, social movements, and stupid things that ought not to be allowed to exist at all. Why? Because there are two things I can’t stand: hypocrisy and stupidity. I try to point out either one, or both, in this book, appropriately named “Rants In My Pants” and subtitled "Outrage in the new America".

If you live in reality, have any common sense and a sense of humor, you will probably enjoy Rants In My Pants. If you do not live in reality, have no common sense and/or no sense of humor, you will probably not enjoy this book. If that’s the case, I don’t give a damn. And, before you accuse me of being an old white male Republican, know that I am not--I’m an old white male Independent.

Welcome to the new America. Rant on!

Andrew Lawrence
Los Angeles, California
January 2015



Here's another excerpt:

Get Dirty

Los Angeles has a big drought. No rain. No water.

"LA Waterkeeper.org began asking drivers to promise not to wash their cars for 60 days back in September in an effort to raise awareness about the drought, said Rachel Stich, a spokeswoman for the organization who suggested the idea."

A Los Angeles-wide billboard campaign and appearances on “NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams” have helped spread the word.

Huh. Don’t wash your car for two months? Do you have any idea how much dirt and dust a car in L.A. accumulates in a WEEK? A month? A lot. L.A. is the car capital of the world. I can just imagine the tens of thousands of people in L.A. who own a Ferrari or a Rolls Royce or other high-end luxury car not washing their $300,000 car for 2 months! And do Hollywood celebrities want to ride in a dirty filthy limousine?

Don't wash your car for 60 days? Dumb. Stupid. And just plain filthy.

Is that just the beginning? What if the drought continues? If the drought continues, and it is expected to, what's next? Don't brush your teeth for 60 days? Don't shower for 2 months? Don't flush the toilet for 60 days? Yeah, I want to do that. Sure I do. I'd rather move to someplace where it rains, like Hawaii. And be clean.


Here's another one:

Gun Control Doctors

From the Wall St Journal ...

"President Obama began his push Wednesday for the most sweeping changes to gun laws in nearly two decades, including banning the sale of certain semiautomatic rifles and high-capacity ammunition magazines. In addition, he laid out 23 executive actions that he believes will help reduce gun violence. Here they are, as released by the White House:

The President is announcing that he and the Administration will (among other things):"

"Clarify that the Affordable Care Act does not prohibit doctors asking their patients about guns in their homes."

WTF? My doctor is gonna ask me if I own a gun? I can see it now ...

Me: "Um, doc, I got this real pain in my neck".

Doctor: "Do you own a gun?"

Me: "Excuse me? What does that have to do with the pain in my neck?"

Doctor: "The President says I can ask my patients if they own a gun."

Me: "What the heck does that have to do with practicing medicine???"

Doctor: "Nothing".

So I went to the doctor's office with a pain in the neck and left with a pain in the ass.



"Rants In My Pants: Outrage in the new America". Buy it at amazon.com